Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize