I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
