Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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