I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
tell me about the fingering
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