Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
