No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize