I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
