girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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