We won't sleep together?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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