It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
