do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
