She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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