We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
