Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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