as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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