She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
birth control should be required to get into college
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
