She said her name was "party"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
