I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm just crazy horny about you
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
