I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
