My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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