I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
