I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
