I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just high enough for therapy.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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