this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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