I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize