Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
