Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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