You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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