We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
