That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
