It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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