Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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