how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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