I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
