I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
