I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
