would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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