shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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