Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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