erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
This can only be settled by a dance off.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
