her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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