And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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