I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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