if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So. Much. Porn.
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