I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
