You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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