Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
