like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
