when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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