He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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