sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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