If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
There are leaves in my underwear?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
