Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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