Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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