For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
