I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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