They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize