i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
