lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize